When you hear “midlife crisis,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? For me, it’s the image of a man (always over 65, dressed like a typical Florida tourist, and not terribly attractive) driving a red Corvette convertible, accompanied by a beautiful twenty-something blonde with legs that are six feet long. Yeah, I like hyperbole: what of it?
Well, that picture of a midlife crisis is not the reality. Not for me, anyway. For me, midlife crisis looks like a series of questions:
- Where did that hair come from?
- Does this bra have sufficient hydraulics to keep The Girls where they need to be?
- Why do I have wrinkles around my knees?
- Will The Boy remember to call me on Mother’s Day?
- Am I supposed to be upset that I’m menopausal and therefore can’t have more kids? (Because I’m not. Not at all.)
- Who’s the old woman whose hands are now attached to my wrists?!?
It also looks like a series of statements – usually coming all at the same time and in a panic:
- Retirement? What retirement? I’m going to have to work until I drop dead. My retirement plan is death.
- I’m healthy so far, but doom is just around the corner.
- But I haven’t accomplished anything yet!
- I’m running out of time to [insert thing I’ll probably never do anyway]!
- I love my job, but I don’t know if I want to do it or can do it for another twenty-plus years.
So, yeah. Midlife can be a little scary. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be. It’s true that I bear little resemblance to the cute young woman I once was, but I still feel like I’m 25. And I’ve got a lot of living left to do.
I’m the kinda gal who figures things out by getting them out of my head. Which brings me here: I’ll write about the stuff I’ve figured out (believe me when I tell you that I am an expert on dating in midlife), the stuff I want to figure out (what’s next? how can I keep my life interesting?), and the stuff that’s weighing on my mind (nothing just now, but give it a minute).
Wanna know more? Check out my About page.